Monday, November 12, 2012

A Day of Remembrance

Okanagan Valley poppy ~ Photo by Glenda Quiring

Again. Another special holiday with many childhood-and-teenage memories flew past yesterday. Just a day in an ordinary week. But to me, it's another tiny hole in my heart. Another reminder that I've missed a small window for having experiences and making memories that I'll never have a chance to bring back again. Another failed promise to myself.

I looked back through this blog today. The second and third posts in my 'holidays' label are about Remembrance Day. The next year I was using a different blog for a class assignment, and on my Remembrance Day post on there I linked back to my post from the year before. And in the post I said, "So maybe next year I'll actually get to celebrate Remembrance Day again...who knows." And next year has become next year and then next year and so on and so on. Every year I make some kind of proclamation that next year I'll celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving, Remembrance Day at home or even just anywhere in Canada again. It hasn't happened yet. So I've slowly stopped saying it. This year I simply wrote on Facebook, "Some year I WILL be back in Canada for Remembrance Day. And some year I WILL spend Remembrance Day at Vimy Ridge." Some year. Not next year, but some year. I still have wants, wishes, dreams. But I don't know when they'll come true. So for now, I compile a list of things I want to do again, some day. And I hope that that day will come soon.

Poppies in our yard back home ~ Photo by Glenda Quiring

But I need to live a life filled with hope, not regret. So I'll forget about the tiny heart-holes and focus on the soon-to-come heart-filling. Right now, I'm looking forward with great anticipation for Christmas at home this year. Christmas with my family, my parents, siblings, husband, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins, friends. My first one at home in three years! Maybe I wasn't home for Canadian Thanksgiving or Remembrance Day this year, but come Christmas I'll be in that big pink house on Juniper Rd. that will be filled to the brim with my people. That will be delicious, and I can't wait to savour all the memories to come!

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